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Monday, January 20, 2014

Anger Management

I have the right to remain silent. Anything I say CAN be used against me in a court of law.

Zen has been my middle name for a while now. I thought I had reached the point where I was not bothered by anything negative that was said to me or about me. Boy was I wrong. Today I EXPLODED. That's even an understatement. I turned into the red hulk (my reference may be completely wrong).   Things that shouldn't have been said where said. I had yelled at people before but NEVER like today. This person brought out the devil in me. I meant every single word I said but never wanted to admit. Remorse immediately followed. Not only because of what I said but who I affected in my crazy rant. 

Let's just say that someone tried to rain on my parade and I sure did poke them in the eye with their umbrella. Figuratively not literally. I just don't understand how someone can be so bitter all the time. Let me take that back. I know why they are bitter but I couldn't be someone's piƱata anymore. I could have excersided a little more compassion on my part. At that moment in time I only thought about my emotions and I failed to recognized theirs. I have never clashed heads with someone as much as this person. They hold so much resentment towards me. If I am mad it bothers them, if I am happy it bothers them, if I do something right it bothers them, if I do something wrong it bothers them even more. 

I left another situation similar to this because I didn't want it to get to this. I try to be civil, respectful, and understanding but when you can't even listen to reason anymore then there is no point in having that person in your life. I allowed someone I loved with all my heart to take me to a dark place. A place I swore to never return. I want nothing more than to work through our differences but we are beyond that point. It saddens me but I just can't have them in my life.

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