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Wednesday, January 29, 2014


Turns out the MRI done on my dad was as serious as I imagined.

Don't ever joke around about having a brain tumor. Even if you are extremely depressed, obsessive, compulsive, or psychotic. A brain tumor is not the problem.

A brain tumor, especially the inoperable malignant type, is the worst thing a human being can have. When I first read about Glioblastoma multiforme, it said it was the rarest most aggressive brain cancer. The first thought to myself was "aren't all cancers 'aggressive'?"

This incurable cancer has already taken my father. All that really remains is a shell. The location and size of the tumor is interrupting the signals that cross the hemispheres. So he may be trying to get up but the brain can't send the message to the legs. He doesn't even speak to me at all. I try to talk to him and he gets frustrated and annoyed. I don't know if he's scared or anxious. I wish he would express how he feels in someway. I wish he could tell me that everything is going to be fine. Something. Anything.

I know my father is still on this earth but I have already started to grieve him.

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