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Sunday, June 19, 2016

Reflection, meditation, Catharsism

After a rough emotional start to my Sunday I decided that I was in need of a loooooong relaxing bath. I knew I needed to relax to ease my mind of the million negative thoughts that raced through that brain of mine. It was the best Idea I have had.

As I listened to Elizabeth Gilbert in the Indian portion of her book, aka the "Pray" part, I found I wasn't doing much relaxing. Which is ironic because she was having a tough time quieting her mind as well. There were things she would say that reminded me of where I was in my life. Situations I am dealing with. Most importantly there were things I was over analyzing.

Eventually my mind found some peace. If only for a a split second. What happened next was beautiful but most people would find weird. Laying there in my purest form made me think about rawness which made me think about realness and honesty.

Looking at my wrinkly fingers made me think what a stunning image that would be. So I grabbed my phone an took this photo.

After that photo I noticed my dingy tub fixtures.

I imagined those are the original handles and spout from when my apartment was first built in the 80's. What intrigued me was that I found beauty in that dilapidated faucet. That's who I've always been. The person that sees beauty in the mundane and peculiar, The person that can tell you that the mere fact that this object being old and neglected made me ponder about bigger and deeper things that are sometimes ignored, neglected and discarded.

After snapping a few photos of in animate objects I decided to take a self portrait that turned into thetitle photo for this blog. It is not mean to be vain, nor erotic. I simply thought it was a beautiful self portrait in my purest form. I want to shatter the wall of vulnerability. What better way than exposing myself to the world this way. I share it artistically and dramatically. I hope everyone else can see that its a simple self portrait of a human in her most raw intimate way. Rene Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert and Amy Poehler all contributed to this new found courage. They inspire me to expose myself in all aspects of life.

Cleansing the body, the mind and the soul.

This last set of self new age portraits were simply for fun. But after looking at it I realized how different these filters make people look. I hope all women in the world realize that they are always most beautiful in their simple natural form, despite what social media has them believe. One is my natural self portrait...It's pretty easy to point out.

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