I figured that it's best for everything bad to occur all at once.
My family is going through some unexpected and expected plot twists in this novel I like to call LIFE.
The unexpected plot twist is a story on it's own but the expected is what this post is about.
The father of my children and I have decided to call it quits. I have ruined our family's perfect record of everlasting love in both our families. I am feeling so much. Fear and devastation are my top emotions right now. Even though I was not happy before, I sure don't feel any better now. I just feel like a failure, which feels all too familiar.
So far it all feels surreal... I mean it has only been a day that it was made official.We had been falling apart for a while now and we were just avoiding the situation.
A part of me finds it silly to be mourning this separation. It has been a long time coming. We had lost each other long ago but neither of us was ready to admit it. But when we were finally ready to admit it to each other, it was like ripping off a band-aid. We didn't even do it face to face. We were actually in different cities. But I think it worked for us. We both have a hard time putting feelings into verbal words. At least it wasn't on a post it!
So far it all feels surreal... I mean it has only been a day that it was made official.We had been falling apart for a while now and we were just avoiding the situation.
A part of me finds it silly to be mourning this separation. It has been a long time coming. We had lost each other long ago but neither of us was ready to admit it. But when we were finally ready to admit it to each other, it was like ripping off a band-aid. We didn't even do it face to face. We were actually in different cities. But I think it worked for us. We both have a hard time putting feelings into verbal words. At least it wasn't on a post it!
In the words of Edith Piaf, "Je ne regrette rien. Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait, ni le mal tout ca m'est bien egal." Which means: "I regret nothing. Not the good things that have been done to me nor the bad things, they are all the same to me." I received the most beautiful gifts from this chapter in my life, my two boys. Where there's a yin, there's a yang.
Well I did say I like new experiences and adventure. It can't get more adventurous and new than this.
How do I cope? Well since I don't really have anyone to talk to about this, I lose myself in thought to the musical styling of Of Monsters And Men. What an amazing album. I think soon I will change to The Civil Wars.
I know that as soon as I get back in the work force I will no longer dwell on the subject. I have bigger problems to worry about now.
How do I cope? Well since I don't really have anyone to talk to about this, I lose myself in thought to the musical styling of Of Monsters And Men. What an amazing album. I think soon I will change to The Civil Wars.
I know that as soon as I get back in the work force I will no longer dwell on the subject. I have bigger problems to worry about now.
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