Envisioning the Future

In this complicated time in my life I need guidance. Two of my oldest friends were able to make time for me. Or should I say, I was able to make time for them. Ironically we met up at the same place. A place that I have envisioned myself in before.

Both of my friends are amazing but my friend V taught me a little game. I intend on playing this game everyday.

^ I started this post 2 years ago. The game my friend taught me was "Where do you see yourself in 5 years". That question paralyzed me back them. At first I couldn't think of anything but I did come up with with an idea. Two years ago I was going through a serious of tragedies and transitions. I had moved from Orlando, ended my 10 year relationship, was dealing with my dad's cancer and I was unemployed. I was in a deep dark twisty place. But even then I wasn't completely hopeless.

I imagined myself working in marketing for some ad agency in NYC. I lived in a brownstone in Manhattan... Or Brooklyn. I had a fabulous wardrobe.

I watched a lot of Mad Men in late 2013 so I was influenced by its glamourous portrayal of an ad agency. I imagined myself looking like Joan with Peggy's personality.

Two years in and I'm no where near that plan that I made up in 5 minutes. But looking back, my friend didn't have "becoming a mom" in her 5 year plan. It just comes to show that even in adulthood we are constantly evolving. People can change. Dreams can change. Priorities change. Goals can change. People say it all the time. If your life doesn't  it end up the way you imagined it to be... That's okay.

My new 5 year plan is to move to California. My niece had a dream I was moving there with my new husband. I could care less about the husband part. Even after 2 years I am still not ready to dive into another relationship. My life right now is focused on working hard at building my portfolio to provide my children with the best opportunities. I want them to go to college and not have to work while going to school. 

A professor once told me that the

Millennial is an entitled brat because their hard working parents wanted to give them a life were they didn't have to endure the hardships they lived through. But it is those hardships that build character. 

So I worry about raising entitled brats. Although I was born in that cohort and timeframe of the infamous "millennial" I was born to hard working immigrant parents that couldn't give me everything. I never went to ballet nor soccer not gymnastics. I didn't get to learn to play any instruments. My parents were too busy working to pay the rent. They didn't have time to find programs for underprivileged children. Did all that make me who I am? Somehow along the way I learned to have one heck of a work ethic. Despite my lack of domestic inclinations... I am a hard worker and have always prided my self in being the best at whatever job I am doing. I admire hard work. I respect people that admire hard work. I was definitely made to be a working women and not a house wife. 

I was feeling a little depressed about my lack of progress in my 5 year plan but there is a voice in my head that keeps whispering "don't worry about it".