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Friday, May 25, 2012

Water Bottle Labels

Tomorrow is the last game for soccer. I like to call Jayden's team the bad news bears. They all have such potential. To all the kids, it's a social club. They barely listen to coach, who by the way, has the patience of a saint. We are on the roster for snacks. Last year there was a mishap with our snack game. It was around Halloween so the hubby & I went out. Jayden slept over his cousin's house. We woke up Saturday morning like at 11:00 am & on the way to pick up Jayden I felt like I had forgotten something. SOCCER! Even though every single Saturday we wake up early to go to soccer on this particular day it slipped our minds. The worst part was that we were responsible for snacks. I didn't even have the courage to face the team on the following practice so I sent the hubby to handle damage control. To make up for it, we bought the kids pizza on the last game of the season.

Apparently coach put us last on the snacks list to make sure we make it. I hope he's not expecting pizza again this year.

I decided to try to make this last game a little special. I made theme water bottle labels! This is good practice for me since I want to make the decorations for Tristan's 3rd birthday.
Now my printer obviously needs some maintenance. But this is really easy to make. Buy circular labels (these are 1" in diameter). Make your design on publisher. Print. Then stick your circles on 11/2" scalloped circles. Glue on a strip of 2X9 scrapbook paper & glue on scalloped circles to scrapbook paper.  I hope the kids find it cute.
I also put the labels on rice crispy treats.
I had a lot of fun making them.


Monday, May 14, 2012

My Adventures in Cooking: Stuffed Mushrooms



I love, love, LOVE cooking. Cleaning, however, is like an insult to me. The good must be taken with the bad. I have learned to embrace it. Lately I have realized that I should have spent more time in the kitchen with my mother. Life lesson: It's not until you are older that you learn to appreciate your mother. Now every time I go visit I will make sure to stay in the kitchen with her and write down all the recipes to my favorite Honduran dishes.


My mother NEVER uses recipes. She just goes with the flow. I, however need a recipe as a base. Eventually after making a dish countless times, I no longer need the recipe.


I never follow a recipe to the "T". Tweaking is my specialty. This is not a tutorial on this recipe rather how I took the recipe & made it my own. Stuffed mushrooms are so appetizing to me. If a restaurant has them, they must be ordered. I found this recipe online...no not on pinterest, but I did pin it. This happens to be a healthy & inexpensive dish. Cheese-and-Spinach-Stuffed Portobellos. That's the base recipe I used. I add more parmesan cheese to mine. In Homer Simpson voice "mmmmmm cheeeeesse".

 
I am getting a hang of this photography thing.



You know what bother's me about cooking shows, how all the ingredients are already prepared, chopped, diced and all placed in pretty little bowls so that the host of the show only has to dunk them all together. 30 minute meals... my ass Rachel Ray (I love you though! But I do NOT love your $20.00 garbage bowl. My dollar store garbage bowl works just fine!) Unless you are a seasoned chef, no one actually chops and dices as fast as you! What I loathe the most is how you NEVER see them do the dishes!





Anyway, here is what a real novice cook's kitchen looks like. That's my cheese and spinach filling. Sometimes I use too many utensils. They are my nemeses. Washing utensils is the most tedious work. My mother-in-law says that i'm always all over the place in the kitchen. Guilty. It's the only way I know to be. I'm like all of Woody Allen's characters all rolled into one.

Here's one of my tricks to the recipe. I scrape off some of the inside of the portabello, chop it up and add it to the filling. After I roast the mushrooms I place them in a muffin pan. By the way, I cook mine in the toaster oven instead of the actual oven. I should invest in a convention oven.




Portobellos lose their cup shape when you roast them. Also to please my hubby I places a slice of salami and broiled them. We love genoa in my house. Hard salami is too smokey. My hubby has a thing about meals with no meat, to him it's an atrocity. Chicken meals also count as an atrocity. If it's not cow or pork, it is vegetarian to him. He'll even pout and have a temper tantrum like my 2 year old if beef is not what's for dinner.





Pour on the marinara sauce. I just happened to have some left over sauce from some rotini we made recently.
Then I topped it off with the filling. I should really call these OVER-stuffed
mushrooms.

This is me watching too much top chef with the hubby. Plating is very important. I tried to get all fancy and gourmet. Ta da! Yummy Yummy!




My kids won't eat this. They don't like mushrooms. I only make it for my hubby and I. Does it not look delicious. It is! Now go try it!





Sunday, May 13, 2012

Last Minute Brownie Points for Mother's Day

In the last week I have felt like a little kid right before Christmas. You know, when you act extra nice those few days before Christmas to make sure Santa Claus gets you everything you want. What would be the equivalent to Santa Claus for Mother's day?  

Dear Mother Goose I have been a really good little mom this year. Or maybe I am trying to make you forget my bad moments when "scream-free parenting" goes out the window.



I wanted to surprise Jayden after school on Friday. He always gets home starving. He always has to eat his "lunner" (The meal between Lunch & Dinner). It is a full blown meal that he has. Since Mother's Day is coming up I wanted to make it extra special. So I personalized his "lunner". This wasn't all he ate. He had a yogurt & a whole bowl filled with other fruit. Tristan was taking a nap so there was no personalized fruit salad for him.


Today I was determined to make the chocolate covered kiwi Popsicles I found on Pinterest. They should really have a "completed" button on there. =) The CCKP reminded me of Choco-Bananas I use to have in Jamaica, Queens. So I decided to to make those as well. I spoiled my hubby by making him chili last week (and again this week). 

My recipe called for one teaspoon of cocoa powder. It pained me to buy a whole container of cocoa powder just for one freaking teaspoon. Instead of melting chocolate bars I decided to make my own milk chocolate. Let me  take advantage of that left over cocoa. I used hershey's recipe for chocolate fondue, I used less sugar to make it only semi sweet. I love dark chocolate & so do my kids!

 After I dipped the already frozen kiwis & bananas I didn't know what to do. The chocolate needed time to harden. I quickly came up with an idea to get little mini curtain holders & hang them upside down in the freezer! I felt so ingenious! This was all my own idea. Pinterest had no part in this! I never think that fast on my feet. I had to make room in the freezer for this to work. The chocolate never hardened like I had hoped. But the popsicles were still awesome. Don't take my word for it. Just ask my critics. Rather yet see them devour their midday snacks. 




How about them apples? Or should I say...bananas & kiwis. Mother Goose... may all my Mother Day wishes come true. 



Sunday, May 6, 2012

Making Memories & Being Under appreciated.

So today I decided to experience my city. Growing up, my parents would take me to many street fairs & festivals. I grew up loving them. Growing up in NYC there were like 100 every weekend. 
Besides soccer 3 times a week, the kids and I are usually stuck in the house (the disadvantage of having just one usable car). The hubby has been working 6-7 days a week and today was his first Sunday off in 2 weeks. Since he decided to play on his X-Box until 6:00 a.m.; it was just me and the kiddos at the Arts & Music Festival. Sometimes I wonder what's worst, having the hubby not bother to partake in family activities or seeing him with a sour-puss face because the activity is not his cup of tea. I decided it's better he doesn't come. That way I only need to focus to keeping 2 children happy instead of 3.  He'll still get the cold shoulder. "I don't want you to do the dishes! I want you to want to do the dishes!" Name that movie!

Let me introduce you to my lovely children. First there is my first born Jayden, age  7  8.  Jayden loves Lego Ninjago (which mommy has to build & then step on them when she gets out of bed) star wars (God forbid I delete any of the movies from the DVR) & having the TV on regardless on whether he is watching or not. He says he uses it as background music while he plays with his action figures. He is, what you can call...a smart-ass. He is the funniest kid I know. Lately he has enter the stage in which he cannot shut up!!! I cannot get 2 minutes of peace & quiet with this kid. He is lucky that most of the things he says are pretty hilarious. I actually have started keeping a record of the things he says. My favorite insult: "The only true Americans are Tristan and I because we were born here." He's apparently favoring republicans. He does say that he watches Fox News. Can anyone say positive correlation? He wants to be an artist. When you ask him what type he'll answer, "The type with talent". His favorite group is LMFAO & he thinks F.U.N. sounds like the Beatles.

Then we have Tristan, my two three year old. Tristan is my wild child. He is the Yang to Jayden's Yin. He doesn't seem to understand "No" when I say it but expects me to accept his "No". He is very clever. When he does something he was not suppose to do he'll tell you in his sweet voice, "I love you mommy". He'll also throw in some kisses and hugs in his repertoire. In short he's manipulative. Tristan loves everything Jayden loves. He'll hum you the Star Wars theme song  and Darth Vader's March. He loves to pretend everything is a hat. He'll wear pants as hats, baskets as hats , boxes as hats and breakfast bowls as hats. I bought him real hats...he hates those. I had to bribe him to wear the one in this picture. Discipline is very difficult with this little one. "Tristan back up from the T.V. sweety",  I say in my sweet mommy voice.  He ignores me. "Tristan... back up from the T.V!" I say in my stern voice. He ignores me again. "TRISTAN BACK UP FROM THE TV RIGHT NOW OR YOU ARE GOING ON TIME OUT!" I say in my evil exorcist voice. He backs up...for 2.5 seconds...and repeat.

My children are my life. I wanted to grow up to be a mommy. Check that off my bucket list. I am grateful I had them young because I do not know how much patience I would've had if I started a family at 30. 

So we go to the festival. Since the hubby showed no interest I figured it would be fun to go with my BFF. No luck there. Just me and the kiddos. I'll try to not have a panic attack. We were participating in the last activity of the festival, The Kids Fishing Competition. Mind you the minute we got there it was:

"When are we going to do the fishing?" 
"Are we going to do the fishing now?" 
"Don't forget the fishing competition." 

As I was sitting there telling Jayden that fishing is about being patient, I hear the mom next to me telling one of her three kids "I can't make you happy! You complain about everything, why should I try to make you happy?!" I said to myself, "Amen sister!" 

As parents we try keep our kids happy and busy with loads of activities and no matter how amazing we think it is,  they always have something to complain about! After all the hype of the fishing competition, Jayden gave up. He thought fishing meant drop the line and the fish will bite the bait immediately. Patience is a virtue he does not possess. Needless to say he didn't catch a fish. I decided to let Tristan give it a go. He just wanted to reel in the line. I started to get frustrated with him. I wanted to catch that fish for Jayden (yes that would be cheating! But was it really since Tristan was holding the rod?) Instead of focusing on catching a fish I let Tristan have his fun. I would release every time he finished reeling in the line. He had a blast. 

See the dad next to Jayden  helping his son fish?  ;)
I was devastated on the ride home from Jayden's disillusion of fishing. Since he was so looking forward to the fishing and it didn't work out,  I imagined Jayden didn't enjoy himself. I am obsessed with making sure my children enjoy themselves in my activities. Who has two thumbs and is as neurotic as can be? ...THIS GAL! 

On the drive home I asked Jayden if he truly enjoyed himself. He said yes, because he got to see storm troopers! Tristan on the other hand I was not worried about. Just getting in the car is an awesome trip to him. Ergo...successful family day...minus the hubby. Just to make sure they were happy we stopped for snow cones. I like to over impress. 

Tune the Fresh Beat Band....We had a Great Day!





Saturday, May 5, 2012

Mistrust, Depression, Denial.


My friend Maddie said I look sad in this photo.

Medical attention is extremely important. One is to get a physical done every year and talk to your doctor about all your concerns so that a little thing doesn't become a major problem. But what happens when you have not found a doctor you can trust. Anyone can tell you that I should definitely be under a physician's watch. The only doctor that I truly enjoyed going to is my dentist Dr. Luger. My dentist!


To me a practice should make you feel welcomed from the minute you walk in! Dr. Luger's office succeeded in that and even went beyond! The receptionist was a sweet lady who was always smiling. That was important to me. One of my biggest pet peeves are bitter people. Call me neurotic but if it kills you to smile you should be working in dark warehouse that keeps you far, far away from the public, or be an existentialism writer that never leaves your basement. The hygienist Jamie was also extremely pleasant. I would wait months for an appointment with her (she only worked Wednesdays). Dr Luger (which is who you see the least was also very nice). I wish every medical practice was like his. It was also a plus that the chair gave you a massage as you got your teeth cleaned.


Now as far as a regular general physician Dr. Vega was the closest I came to trusting a doctor. I have every reason to feel uncomfortable with him as my doctor. He was also my mother's doctor and he worked at the same hospital with her. Needless to say I thought he would tell her everything I told him. However, I am not sure if it was because he knew my mother, he made me feel like I mattered. My mistrust came when I finally admitted that I suspected that I was depressed and suffered from anxiety. He prescribed me some paxil and referred me to a psychiatrist.


When I saw this psychiatrist that's when it all changed. This psychiatrist office was the coldest office ever! It may be my inner hypochondriac but the waiting room was so small it was enough to make the most sanest person claustrophobic. I have been a depressed person since middle school but it wasn't until my first semester of college that I admitted to anyone else.


I remember it as clear as yesterday. A friend's brother said to me, "Wow you sure have everything going for yourself. You are in college with a scholarship, you have a car, an awesome job and a boyfriend." I thought to myself, he was right. I should be the happiest person in the world but why do I feel so miserable.


Ironically at the moment everything should have been perfect. However, I was a lost soul in college, my boyfriend shortly left me for religion. Yeah, religion. That's a story for another blog. My friend convinced me a couple of months later to see the university's pysychologist who suggested I needed to seek help immediately from a psychiatrist. It was like the day before I was leaving to Europe. I was even suicidal at that stage. However that European trip was memorable and made me forget about my depression. Traveling is the cure to depression but definitely more expensive then medication.


It wasn't until I was nearly 21 that I attempted to do anything about my illness. My experience however reverted me back to my world of denial. As I sat in this tiny, cold waiting room completing this encyclopedia of a questionnaire, there was this teenage girl with her mother also sitting in the crowded waiting room.


This girl reminded me so much of the myself when I was her age. The difference being that she would speak every feeling, dislike, and concern. I have always been more of an introvert. Her mother, I could tell was nonchalant about the whole situation. Not an insensitive nonchalance but rather an exasperating be-numbness. You know that empty head nodding adults perform without providing any type of eye contact. The mother had that look people have when they have given up but go through the motions regardless. The tremendous fear a love one has of having her true feelings exposed. That's how I "perceived" or imagined that mother. I had a feeling that they had been at it for many year and judging from the things this girl was saying, therapy was not helping any of them. I could have very well made up this idea in my head. I have a hard time judging whether my perceptions of people and the environment are mere fabrications created by my chemical imbalance. I use the term "chemically imbalanced" embelishingly (yes that should be a word) since a different doctor later concluded I didn't have one according to my blood tests.


Did you ever wonder if your analysis of what you see was truly real? I mean I know it's a matter of perception but do I make up elaborate stories in my head to match my feelings? I believe so. When it was finally my turn I sat down with the doctor for what felt like no more than 5 minutes. He looked over my questionnaire asked me a couple of redundant questions, handed me a month worth of Lexapro and told me to make a follow up appointment to tell him how the medication was working. I looked at him bewildered, daunted and awed and asked "and that's it?" He responded somewhere along the lines of "were you expecting more?" or "what else would you like". I am pretty sure he referred to my question as if I was implying I wanted more medication. Once again I felt like he didn't care. Regardless of how he took the question I didn't elaborate or voice my concerns. I remember I broke down crying and just shared my anxiety and he also prescribed Xanax. He did think I meant more medication!


I went home took the lexapro maybe 3 times and decided I didn't trust this doctor that had just provided me with it. Another reason that didn't work out was because I was being judged by those around me. People would tell me that mental disability is pretty much a myth and all shrinks are quacks. The hilarious thing was that certain people believed the medication was really helping because I was bearable to be around. I thought to myself "you stupid bitch, this really shows how ignorant you are". But of course I just sat there, smiled, nodded and said nothing. I take the saying "if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all" really seriously.

The next time I tried to explain to a different doctor that I was depressed he said I wasn't. He provided the Xanax for the anxiety attacks and diagnosed me not being able to take change well. Jackass! I didn't bother to go into my history. The last time I went to a doctor I didn't even bother to go into my depression. This last doctor was the worst! My experience was short of misanthropic. I think the medical field has turned stone cold. Eyes, check, ears, check, throat, check, stomach, check...how have you been? "Well doctor I have had some stomach issues", here's a referral for a specialist...you take care now. Didn't bother to wait for the rest of my concerns as she put her hand on the door knob. My lack of assertiveness let it slide. As my inner self was screaming "You stupid idiot tell her that you are not done, and bring out the list of things you wanted to discuss!!!" and then my other voice saying "what's the point, it's not like she's going o deal with it anyway, she's just going to refer you to other specialist that are going to be more busy and less concerned with you". I took that referral and blood order and trashed them.


Every 2 years or so I give doctors a try. Mostly now I just tell myself "this depressive episode will pass." However it does affect my life. Maybe blogging will be my medication. I so wish I can travel again. That's one treatment plan that is not covered by any insurance. BTW my song choices for my blues is in shuffle mode right now. I always listen to Coldplay while I am feeling blue. I'll replay Fix You about 20 times.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Perfection will not mean Procrastination.

Earlier I stated that I consider myself a half-ass overachiever. Let me expand on that. I have an endless array of projects and goals on my imaginary to do list. My plan of action and my blue prints are all in my head. They are of grandeur. Most of them stay in my head with the hope that one day they will just spontaneously generate. No, not really. I am not delusional. Well maybe I am with somethings. A little delusion is quite healthy.

My projects don't get off the ground because I am a perfectionist. Not the kind that will work on something forever until it is just right. I am the kind that will procrastinate if it is not absolutely perfect in my head. The worst feeling in the world for me (besides finding out I was lied to) is disappointment. It is beyond aggravating when things don't work out the way I envisioned them. When I have a project in my mind I NEVER take it one step at a time. If I think that step 11 is not going to be possible for "X" reason, I refuse to go through step 1-10 to leave it unfinished. The fear of having a halt in my project prevents me from starting one in the first place. I guess I have to weigh my options. I mean what's worst? Procrastinating or having unfinished projects? 

As I am writing this I have an excellent peripheral view of a headboard project I started. I keep looking up at it because it is incomplete. Neurotic? I know right. I need to learn to enjoy the completion of every step and avoid being so hard on myself that I am not ready for the next. I almost had a melt down while starting off. I saw this upholstered headboard on this blog. I fell in love with the fabric and the concept of the squares. Before I decided if I could actually do it I did endless hours of research. Once again neurotic right? Research to make a headboard? Well as much as I LOVED the fabric I was not sure if it was the perfect fabric. I looked through hundreds of fabrics online. Once I found a fabric I liked online I decided to go to my local home fabrics store. They had the original print I liked but not in the color I liked. They had other fabrics that I liked. I couldn't make up my mind! I literally had a different fabric in my cart when I made the final decision and chose this one.

This is one of the finished squares. Disaster struck when my mother-in-law was helping me cut the fabric. The print was not symmetrical and I wanted the design to be centered on each square. Also there were wide and narrow designs and I wanted the wide ones only. My mother-in-law cut out the narrow ones by mistake. So now I had uneven, non-matching squares. I almost scratched the whole project and was about to go and spend another $30.00 on new fabric. I told myself to stop freaking out. FYI I internally freak out. I didn't let my mother-in-law see my apprehension. Instead I decided to just go with the flow. Assembling the squares was another mental freak out.

 The board I bought to make the 10X10 squares were not 1/4 mahogany underlay like the tutorial said. In spanish it's called "carton piedra"; if you speak spanish you know that piedra means rock. That should have been a sign. We asked the guy at home depot if we can staple through it and he said "yeah". He lied, partially. The staples did not go through with ease. If you plan on completing this project, do not use this type of board.

The same guy also cut out my 10x10 squares. There were some that came out as rhombuses. That was aggravating. If you are a geek like me you know that a rhombus does not have right (90 degree) angles. I overly  stress the little things. I started assembling the 24 squares. The first day I only completed 10 because I was using a manual staple gun since the automatic was not doing it's job. I took a 4 day rest because my hand was so sore. Just yesterday I finished all 24 squares.  Voilá!
I am planning to mount it this week. 
This blog is another project that won't get lost in my mind. I want it to be visually captivating but that won't deter me from maintaining a steady pace. I'll try to post at least once a week. I'm starting to accept imperfections in my life.  This blog and  this headboard is only the beginning.

UPDATE: 7/15/2012
I did mount the headboard that week but I wanted to finish more decorating projects before I posted the pictures. Since I finished the headboard I have also added a wardrobe, some frames, and a chest. None of those items are ready for a reveal. But here's a pic of the headboard mounted. I need some decor on those empty walls!

I think I should have mounted it a little higher. But overall I am happy with the results. 
Thanks Sawdust & Embryos for the inspiration!

Blogging...a new frontier.




In my mind I live in this fascinating world. Sixty percent is completely made up, forty percent is a reflection of my real life. Have fun figuring out which posts are autobiographical and which are pure fiction! I am a little like the Owen Wilson character from Midnight in Paris. Tragedy has never struck me although I am overly dramatic. My relationship is  was not a Disney fairy tale however I love passionately. I am not in the running for the "Mother of The Year" award but to my children I am the best mom in the world. I once defined myself as a half-ass over-achiever. Blogging is something I have considered for a while now. Before this post  I had my blogger account for 2 years This seems like good practice for writing a book, which by the way, is on my bucket list. My friend "V" gave me the idea to call my book IdiosynCRAZY! It's suppose to be a memoir of my life experience/perception. I can only hope to be as funny as David Sedaris. I first read his work (Naked) sophomore year of High School. Ah sophomore year, those were some good times.

Most of my blogs will be extremely random. I have a tendency to get off subject both in verbal conversation as well as in written form. It's more severe in writing. I am trying to start off a photography business. I have mostly worked in a portrait studio. Best job in the world! It changed my life. I met my ex hubby  ( we are not legally married but have been together for 8,  9 10 0 years now) through a co-worker, who later became my best friend and has been trying to make me her sister-in-law. The ex hubby and I have 2 beautiful sons together. This world is made for a family of four so we don't have any intention of having anymore kids. Photography is a passion of mine, but I get aggravated when I can't capture an image the way I see it through my eyes. I will be posting about my kids, my ex hubby (without his permission), my photography, my art and craft projects that I rip off from Pinterest, my past, my present and my future. So, as the title  of one of my favorite movies...AWAY WE GO! FYI, you will be seeing a lot of movie references. =)

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