IdiosynCRAZY!: Feelings/Nerd Wars

It seems that I am trying to make up for the many months I did not post anything. Or a clinical psychologist would say I am having a manic episode. I happen to like my manic episodes. I am at my very best. The other pole puts me in a dark and twisty place (Grey's Anatomy reference) and I lose my incentive to want to write about anything! Depression sucks!

Whenever I am extra sensitive about things I feel like this:

Writing is the only way I can release all those feelings. I can't comprehend why the words I have in my mind cannot transfer to my vocal chords and shoot out of my mouth! It is beyond aggravating. I think it has to do with fear. The fear of what people will think about me. Then again if that is the case then why can I so easily put it in writing. I guess it's easier for me to filter myself in writing. I am contently worried about saying the wrong thing.

I don't like to offend people. I offend myself when I offend others. I care what other people think way too much. Don't try to tell me "it doesn't matter what people think." I can't help myself. I wish I was like Jennifer Lawrence. She is so freaking charismatic that it doesn't matter when what comes out of her is ridiculous. Maybe it's because she is gorgeous. Are people more accepting of people's mistakes if they are really good looking?

You know who else I admire and hate at the same time. This girl: Danielle from Nerd Wars

People with no filter are annoying to me! Yet I also admire that. Hence the love/hate relationship. If you haven't watched Nerd Wars you have to. It's freaking awesome! Jayden LOVES her.

I just realized Madeina is like her in many way (minus the crying a lot). So if Danielle is Madeina then I must be Genevieve.